Wednesday, January 2, 2013
I'm feeling a bit crotchety, even while noticing the light, and I wonder about that. Isn't gratitude and noticing beauty supposed to cancel out the negatives of my inner world? maybe i'm not really letting the goods sink in? I have been thinking about tatoos and my weird desire to have them in places that I can't even see. just to know they are there and be surprised when someone Else notices. huh. I have tried looking at my face to see how its changing. I have realized that cameras are tricky and elusive when it comes to showing truth. I've been reading, I've got a stack from the library and from the gifters and I am really raring to go, one kid is back in school and I'm waiting the next to begin and then we're off! I've even read at night, even.
hubsJ called me ethereal and while i like it and want to sashay my way into it, i don't neccessarily wear it today, or lately, or often. but its good that he describes me that way. it is preferable to many things. I feel bad for hubsJ this week. I think he is struggling with many things and I can't do anything for his struggle.
I grasp at this feeling of the new year, not wanting its hope to melt away and leave the plainjanelife with me. I don't want her around right now. hm.
deep and crisp and even.